


Ten and a Half Kisses and Counting

by jhsluvs



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Crying, Excessive amounts of crying, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Jisol, M/M, Mentioned Boo Seungkwan, Mentioned Jang Doyoon, Mentioned SEVENTEEN Ensemble, Possibly Unrequited Love, Pre-Relationship, Pre-debut, Rain, Through the Years, Unrequited Love, before and after debut, jeongcheol - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 09:20:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23848849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jhsluvs/pseuds/jhsluvs
Summary: When he knew nothing about his self he was only certain of one thing. Even if he didn’t know who he was he knew he’d always love him.
Relationships: Chwe Hansol | Vernon/Hong Jisoo | Joshua
Comments: 2
Kudos: 39





	1. May 25 2013

Hansol honestly didn’t know many things about himself.

He was only 15, so he spent a lot of his time being young and confused. He had only begun his idol training about a year ago and he spent so much time working towards his dream that he didn’t know much else about himself.

One thing he knew was that he liked the rain.

He didn’t really like getting wet but the rain calmed him. He liked the sound it made when it hit the pavement and the way it streaked across his dorm window. He liked how it smelt outside after it was done and the way it made the air feel almost moist. 

He especially liked rainy nights like tonight. On nights like these, Hansol would open his dorm windows so he could hear it better. It was peaceful. The sound of the light pitter patter of raindrops and the musky smell it gave off helped him concentrate. He spent most nights like these writing his raps, though they didn’t happen too often. 

The only thing he knew he always liked was Jisoo.

He liked training and singing and dancing of course. If he thought otherwise he wouldn’t be here. But sometimes he couldn’t get a move right, or his voice wouldn't go as high as he wanted it to. Sometimes all the work was too much for him and it caused him to break.

But Jisoo wasn’t like that.

Jisoo was kind and helped him with his english. He always smiled at him when they saw each other and didn’t scold him like the other hyungs often did. 

He also happened to be his roommate.

When Jisoo joined the company, he didn’t speak much Korean, so they made sure to pair him up with Hansol to help him out. Hansol was the only other trainee who spoke english so when he first arrived the two were automatic best friends. Now that his Korean was better, he didn’t rely on Hansol as much as he used to but they still were close. Jisoo of course was able to make more friends now that he could communicate better with the others. He specifically bonded with Jeonghan. The two had been practically inseparable since Jisoo became confident in his Korean, but he always made sure to make time for his precious dongsaeng. The two were still roommates and Hansol hoped his hyung didn’t have any thoughts of changing their arrangement. If he had, he never showed it to the younger, but he still worried. He was just glad to still have this time with his hyung, even if it was just for now.

It was days like these where he really enjoyed having Jisoo as his roommate. 

Usually when it rained at night it was late, meaning Hansol was the only one of his roommates awake. He would bring the chair that usually sat by their desk to his open dorm window and write whatever he could. Tonight, however, was different. He was having a major writer’s block, but more importantly, he wasn’t the only one awake. It was around 1am when he realized this.

“Hansol?” he heard a soft voice call for him. He turned from the window to where he found his hyung sitting up in bed.

“Oh, hey Jisoo,” he greeted the other, trying to imitate the volume of his voice. 

“What are you doing awake? Isn’t it late?”

“Uhh yeah it is actually,” he started getting up from his chair and gathering his things. “I was just watching the rain. I'll go sleep now.”

“Oh no I’m not stopping you. You can stay up.” Hansol froze momentarily, eventually putting his things back down with a nod.

“Ok, I won’t be loud.”

“Actually,” Jisoo stopped him, “I was wondering if I could join you.” Hansol wasn’t expecting to be accompanied during any of these nights. He’d occasionally wondered what it’d be like to stay up with his hyung and talk for hours, while the sound of rain soothed their minds. And now was his chance to do that, there was no way he’d ruin it.

“Sure hyung. I can get you a chair if you want.”

“It’s ok I got it,” Jisoo said, getting out of bed. He pulled over a chair, placing it next to where Hansol was stationed at the window. “Why’s the window open?” he asked curiously.

“I always leave the window open when it rains a lot. It helps me hear it better.” Jisoo mused, listening to the younger’s explanation.

“That explains the smell,” the older hummed.

“Oh do you not like it? I can close the windows if you want-”

“No no it’s fine,” Jisoo interrupts him. “I actually like it. It’s nice.” Hansol nods stiffly and Jisoo’s brow furrows watching the younger. It stayed silent for a few minutes as Hansol stared out the window watching the rain. Jisoo’s eye was trained on the younger, which he tried to pretend he couldn’t notice. “Hansol-ah?”

“Yeah Jisoo?”

“I’ve actually been meaning to ask you something.”

Those few words sent Hansol’s brain into chaos. 

All his insecurities suddenly flooded his mind, trying to figure out what exactly it was Jisoo wanted to ask him. He sounded serious, at least more serious than he usually did, and that worried him. Thoughts of him moving out of the dorm mostly dominated his worries. These negative thoughts bounced around his skull until he was finally interrupted. 

“Sol—“

“It’s ok If you want to move in with Jeonghan,” he blurts, interrupting the other. 

“What?”

“I know you guys are really close now and you probably want to room with him instead. It’s ok, I’ll be fine.” 

The room was still for a minute. Neither boys spoke after Hansol’s words. He chastised himself for exposing his thoughts so suddenly, refusing to meet Jisoo’s eye as he eyed him. His lips were slightly parted as if he was looking for something to say and his eyes were filled with concern. 

“Is that what you thought I was going to ask?” Jisoo asks after a moment of silence and Hansol nods, eyes remaining downcast. His gaze turns confused when Jisoo’s laughter fills the air. “Sollie did you really think I wanted to move out?”

“Well I didn’t know for sure, I was just worried I guess,” he sputtered, looking to his lap in embarrassment. 

Jisoo grabbed his hand, intertwining their fingers with a smile. “You don’t have to worry Sollie. I love Jeonghan but I’d never leave you, I’d miss you too much.” He used his free hand to poke the younger’s cheek, smiling when the corners of the embarrassed boy’s mouth finally upturned. “Why would you think I wanted to move out Sol-ah?” He began rubbing the back of Hansol’s hand with the pad of his thumb. It was a small but affectionate action that brought heat to the younger’s cheeks. 

“I- I don’t know,” his brain turned to mush as he and Jisoo locked eyes. He really was beautiful. “I was just insecure that you’d leave me for someone closer to your age and…” he trailed off. He wanted to say someone more charming but he didn’t want to expose himself too much, even though he already felt more vulnerable than ever. 

“And?” Jisoo pushed a bit further, deepening his gaze until the younger boy felt he could see into his soul. He figured he’d already embarrassed himself enough, he might as well confess too. 

“Someone more charming than me,” his voice was quiet and if he and Jisoo weren’t in such close proximity, the older wouldn’t have been able to hear him. The smile Jisoo gave him after was so warm, he was sure he would melt. 

He turned to the younger fully, now tangling both their hands together. “Hansol-ah,” he started sweetly, “you never have to worry about that ok?” He smiled as he saw the younger nod. “I promise that I will never leave you for anyone, no matter how charming they are. You will always be first in my heart.”

Hearing that warmed Hansol’s heart, though he still couldn’t suppress his insecurities. “Not even for Jeonghan?” Without his knowledge his eyes grew teary, on the brink of overflow. But he wasn’t quite upset. He was happier than he thinks he’s ever been in fact. 

Jisoo chuckled at the almost puppy-like expression on the younger’s face. “Not even for Jeonghan.” As if on cue, a tear fell from the younger’s eye, dribbling down his face and onto his lap. He moved to wipe it away before Jisoo stopped him. Instead, his hyung wiped at his wet face with the end of his sleeve. “Don’t cry Hansol-ah,” but the tears kept falling, and his sleeve was soaked at this point. So he thought of something else instead. “Do you wanna come sit?” he asked softly, gesturing towards his bed. Hansol nodded, looking up at his hyung as he stood up with the same puppy-like eyes. They sat at the edge of the bed, each with one leg bent atop the mattress. Jisoo leaned forward, wiping at Hansol’s tears with both hands this time. He cupped the younger’s face lightly, rubbing away the wetness with his thumbs, frowning as his whole body shook from a hiccup. “Why are you crying Sol-ah?”

“I- I just,” he trailed off, disconnecting their eye contact in sudden embarrassment. Jisoo moved a hand from his cheek to under his chin, lifting it a bit so their eyes met. He gazed into the younger’s tear filled eyes, saddened by how upset he looked. 

He pulled him into a tight hug, rubbing his back gently. “Breathe Sollie. It’s ok, everything’s going to be alright.” The younger buried his head into the other’s neck, shaking as he let out another sob. He felt comfortable in Jisoo’s arms. It was warm and secure, but at the same time, he held him as if he were so fragile he could shatter any minute. Neither of them wanted to pull away from the embrace, but when they separated it was Hansol’s doing. His face was wet with tears and his eyes were tired. He let Jisoo wipe away his tears once again, this time being even more gentle than the first. And when Jisoo laid back on his bed with outstretched arms, signaling for the younger to lie with him, he did. His cries were quieter and calmer at this point as he laid on the older’s chest, but Jisoo was there to wipe every tear that fell. It fell silent in the dorm room, save for the sound of rain coming through the open window. Jisoo ran his fingers aimlessly through the boy’s hair. “Hansol-ah?” he whispered. 

“Yeah?” he whispered back. He didn’t know why they were whispering but he didn’t want to break the atmosphere they’d created. 

“Are you ok to tell me why you were so upset earlier?” His fingers danced through the boy’s light brown locks as he awaited his response. 

“I just,” he started again, voice hitching slightly which made Jisoo fear he would start crying again; though no tears came. Instead, he lifted his head, making an effort to make eye contact with the older as he spoke. “I didn’t want you to leave me… because I like you.” His voice made a decrescendo as he reached the end of his confession and Jisoo almost couldn’t hear him over the sound of the rain. Almost. 

“Do you really Sollie?” he asked with the same honey sweet voice he always spoke in, though it sounded more affectionate than it ever did. He gave him that same brain melting smile as Hansol nodded, confirming his suspicion. “Sol-ah, I’m really touched by that. Thank you for telling me about your feelings.” His voice reeked of rejection but Hansol couldn’t find it in him to even be upset about it. He just smiled at his hyung from his spot on the small mattress. “I’m sorry that I can’t be with you the way you want me to.”

“It’s ok hyung.”

“I’ll tell you what,” he says, lifting his free hand to the younger and sticking out his pinky. “Ask me again in three years and I’ll see what I can do.”

“You don’t have to do that Jisoo.”

“But I want to,” the older insisted, nudging his pinky forward again. He smiled when the younger boy brought a pinky to his. 

“You promise when I’m older you’ll give me a chance?” He gazed into the younger’s starry eyes. They looked so innocent and hopeful. It reminded him of exactly why he couldn’t be with him right now. After a bit he snapped out of his daze, breaking into a soft smile as he tangled their pinkies together. 

“I promise.” Hansol smiled back at him and he already wanted to give the boy the world. “Until then,” he placed a soft kiss on the younger’s cheek. He smiled at the rouge dusted upon his small face as he pulled away. “Let’s sleep Hansol-ah. There's schedule tomorrow.” The younger boy nodded and buried his head into the older’s chest again. Jisoo was glad he didn’t try to leave his side, letting himself stay with him for at least the night. He never got to see the vulnerable side of his dongsaeng and it broke his heart to see him so upset. But he was happy that he felt comfortable enough to open up to him. He smiled, thinking about it as he drifted off to sleep, whispering one last goodnight to the younger before falling completely. 

And when Cheol came to wake them the next morning, he left quietly with a smile, deciding to leave the two boys a little more time together as he woke up the others. He could tell they needed it.


	2. May 25, 2014

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A year later, Jisoo confides in his roommate on a rainy night.

It was another rainy night. 

They’d just gotten back from training and were more than ready to pass out. But instead, Jisoo spoke. 

“Hansol-ah,” he called softly, turning to face the younger. They’d moved into new dorms where their two twin beds were next to each other. So when Jisoo turned to look at the other, he was only a few feet away, also facing him. 

“Yeah Jisoo?” With one look at the older boy he could tell he was exhausted. More than he was even. 

It had been a hard week for Jisoo. At the beginning they had trials for who would make it to debut and he hadn’t done very well. Hansol still remembers the sound of his soft sobs as they fell asleep that night. 

A few days later, Doyoon left. No one knows why, but it’s suspected that it was because of the trials. This hit Jisoo hard. Other than Jeonghan and maybe Hansol, Doyoon was his closest friend, along with Cheol who he had recently become close with. Their 95-line was a tightly knit group and it had been torn apart at the seams. Jisoo’s cries were less quiet that night. 

Yesterday he received a call from his parents back in California. They asked him about his debut date and tried to hide their disappointment when he told them he didn’t know. They encouraged him to keep working though the damage had already been done. Hansol held him as he cried that night, singing to him softly until he finally fell asleep in his arms. 

“Do you ever feel like…” he paused, searching for the right words, “like we’re running out of time.”

Hansol’s brow furrowed in confusion, “what do you mean.”

Jisoo shrugged, “like there isn’t any time left I guess?” he said almost as if it were a question. “I don’t it’s stupid-“

“No no it’s not,” Hansol cut him off speaking softly. “How is everything running out of time? Hell me,” he smiled encouragingly, trying to get an explanation from the older boy. 

Jisoo sighed, “to debut,” he started. “To be free before we debut, if we even get to.” Hansol frowned at his negative words but couldn’t blame him for thinking that way. “I just don’t want all this training to be a waste,” he said softly after a while. “And everything’s moving so fast that I…” he paused, voice growing choked up, “I don’t want to waste my life while I still have it.” His voice was getting quieter and quieter as he fought the tears that burned his eyes. When the first tear fell, Hansol got out of his own bed and went to Jisoo's. He motioned for him to move over, which the older followed without protest, and crawled into bed facing him. He smiled softly as he wiped at the wetness on the pretty boy’s face. 

“You know what I’d do to fix that?” He spoke softly as his hand rested on the older’s cheek. “I’d just make sure to live our free days as best as we can. Or at least the days before we debut. Before we’re recognizable.” Jisoo looked at him, eyes wet with tears, though a small smile crossed his face. 

“So we should live each day like it’s our last,” he asked, smiling growing exponentially. Hansol nodded, slightly confused at the boy's sudden change of mood but glad to see him happy. Sudden Jisoo broke into a full smile, giggling as he pushed the covers off of them and got out of bed. 

Hansol watched him, confused but smiling widely. ”What are you doing?” Jisoo turned and pulled him out of bed too. 

“We’re gonna go live our days to the fullest,” he chuckles as Hansol was still confused. He bumps his shoulder lightly, “we’re sneaking out.” Hansol eyes widen. Jisoo wasn’t a completely pure person, he’d say he definitely rivals Jeonghan’s love of mischief especially when they're together, but he usually played by the rules. 

That was a major difference between his two hyungs. It’s why he assumed they got along so well. They were pretty similar in many ways but that difference between them is what he always thought balanced them out. 

Yet here Hansol was, being pulled down the halls of their dorm, with half an hour until curfew. He didn’t object of course, he’d never lose the chance to spend time along with him, but he was hoping they could avoid some trouble at the same time. 

He knew they wouldn’t though. 

They now walked along the rainy streets, talking about anything and everything. It wasn’t long until they reached their first stop, the convenient store. Hansol was confused, but he didn’t question it as he didn’t want to dull the smile on Jisoo’s face. He just followed behind him as he pulled him happily into the store. 

When they entered they split up. Jisoo told him he could pick anything he wanted but he didn’t want to spend too much of his hyung’s allowance so he just got a bag of gummy worms. When his hyung came back, toting a soaked umbrella and a bag of chips, he insisted the younger picked more. After bickering for a bit, Jisoo reluctantly paid for the two original items, though he snuck in a pack of Hansol’s favorite candy while he wasn’t looking. When they finished, Jisoo gave Hansol his gummy worms, leaving his favorite in the bag for later. Hansol opened the bag, taking one for him and feeding one to Jisoo before their departure. They left the store, huddled under their soaked umbrella as they headed to their next destination which Hansol assumed would be home. 

It wasn’t. 

He was actually brought to the park right next to their dorm. It was empty and all the equipment was wet from the rain, though one section stayed dry. The gazebo. 

Jisoo pulled him towards the wooden structure excitedly, sitting down once they got there. It was quiet for a bit as they unpacked their snacks and Hansol noticed the extra candies. He looked to Jisoo who was already staring at him, supposedly watching for his reaction to the small surprise. He smiled at him goofily when their eyes met. Cute, Hansol thought to himself. 

“I knew you’d want them even if you didn’t pick them,” he said. Hansol smiled to himself as he went for the candies. 

“Thanks Jisoo-ah.”

“Anytime,” he chuckles, going for the chips. He checks his phone for the time, they had five more minutes to get back. He didn’t intend on breaking curfew but he wasn’t worried, he had a plan of course. He always did. 

When he checked his phone it also reminded him of something else. 

Something that happened a year ago today. 

“Hey Hansol,” the younger looked up from his candy. “You know what happened a year ago today?”

Hearing this Hansol cheeks flushed. He smiled as he looked back down at his candies. “You remembered.”

“Well actually I read it in your notebook.” Hansol chokes on the candy in his mouth in surprise. Jisoo’s eyes widened, “Oh my god that was a joke.” Hansol’s face burns red as he’d just exposed himself unnecessarily. “Do you actually have it written down?” Jisoo asked, sporting the same sly smile you’d see when he was with Jeonghan. 

“Maybe,” Hansol muttered, hiding his face though his ears burn the same shade of red. It was his fault for thinking Jisoo might remember the date, he only made the promise out of pity after all. He'd probably take back his promise any day now. Jisoo laughed, raising his phone to the other. 

It showed a calendar reminder. 

For today. 

“You’re not the only one Sol-ah,” he chuckled as the younger's eyes widened. Hansol unexpectedly tackled him into a hug. They fell back onto the gazebo floor, luckily far enough to not hit the side walls. "Woah, ok."

“Thank you hyung,” Hansol said, burying his head into his chest. 

“No problem,” he said chuckling, “Plus I have a promise to keep. How am I supposed to do that if I don’t know when three years ends?”

Hansol pulled away from him, though he still hovered over the older, smiling widely. “You still want to keep the promise?” He asked, almost equally as hopeful as the year before. His eyes still had a very similar innocent shine to him and his shaggy brown hair still resembled that of a puppy. Not yet. 

Jisoo smiled at him, “A promise is a promise.” He felt the younger crash down on him again. When they finally untangled, he pressed a kiss to his cheek, the opposite cheek to the year before. He smiled as a similar blush covered the younger’s cheeks. Before he could ask what it was for he answered, “for tradition.”

“Well,” Hansol starts, “I was thinking I should get another.” Jisoo looks at him before bursting into a fit of laughter. Hansol pouts, “What? It’s been an extra year. I think I deserve an extra kiss.”

Jisoo giggles, “You drive a hard bargain.” He pulls him in by the waist, pressing a soft, lingering kiss upon his forehead. “Better?”

“Much,” Hansol smiled. He looked at his phone, it read 11:03. “Oh shoot,” he says suddenly, “we’re late for curfew.” He begins gathering their things but Jisoo stops him. 

“Don’t worry I got it covered,” he says, pulling out his phone and texting a friend. Hansol’s brows knit together in confusion. 

“You talked to Cheol already?”

“No, I got something better.” He got the rest of their stuff and held out his hand for the younger to take. They walk back to the dorm, getting there at 5 after curfew, where Cheol was waiting for them. 

Though they didn’t get in trouble. 

Apparently when Jisoo said he had something better, he meant he had Jeonghan. Before Cheol could begin scolding them, Jeonghan emerged from the shadows (it sounds dramatic but that’s actually exactly what he did). He began calling Cheol, or Cheolie in this case, sweetly which Jisoo promptly followed, wearing the same sly smirk the other had on. Before the two could even say anything else Seungcheol dismissed them. He pinched the bridge of his nose and wore an expression that made Hansol think this wasn’t a one time occurrence. 

He doesn’t know how the two of them got them out of trouble. Maybe it was the fact that Cheol just didn’t want to deal with the duo at the same time anymore than he had to. Or maybe it was the budding relationship between the now two oldest members. But it got them back to their rooms scotch free. 

He would’ve been happy even if they’d gotten in trouble though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter will be the beginning of jeongcheol's story. the next few cbapters won't really be jisol focused, though they'll be a mixture of seungcheol and vernon's povs. stay tuned ! 
> 
> twt: @voringchan
> 
> ...
> 
> also did you guys watch the hit the road teasers yet?? they're crazy i'm really excited to watch it :D

**Author's Note:**

> Check my twt @voringchan for updates and more works


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